Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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