I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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