on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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