i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
