If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
