3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
