I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Randomize
