He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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