there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
