Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
