No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
