Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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