in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
