i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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