He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
