My brain says no but my pants say off.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize