I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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