so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
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I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
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I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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