foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize