Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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