Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
