I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
