She said her name was "party"
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
