I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
