No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
