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Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
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