Don't make out with my wife yet
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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