I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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