You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
You took a bar mat shot.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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