she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
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