I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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