If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
