I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Randomize
