its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
