Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
