Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Randomize
