At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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