woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
