How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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