Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
