Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
