Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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