i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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