My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
