ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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