how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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