Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
