i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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