Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
