careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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