if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Just cropdusted the office
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
Randomize
