Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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