also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Randomize
