took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize