i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
