i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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