Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
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I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
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