No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
