I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
