Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
