I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
